Recently, my boss decided to brag that he is “too smart for his job” and reveal his IQ. Hilariously (but somewhat depressingly), it is lower than mine. I didn’t share that fact with him because a) he’s an idiot and b) thinking I am not as intelligent as he is will lull him into a [...]

Well, it’s been ten days since I posted this poll. Let’s look at the results, shall we? It looks like the majority of people want to see a TCG COMIC from time to time. Obviously, they’ve never seen my stick figures. PODCAST and STFUANDLEAVEITALONE came in a close second and third. Well, the comic and [...]

Elderly-sounding customer, on phone: “Which colors of roses do you have today?” Me: “I’m sorry, we are sold out of roses right now and I don’t expect a shipment until late this afternoon.” Her: “What about white?” Me: “White what?” Her: “Roses.” Me, attempting to gather: “Ma’am, we are completely out of roses. I don’t [...]

It’s not easy for someone who shills chocolate and flowers for a living to be in love with love, but I am. I believe in love at first sight, and soulmates, and lifelong commitment. Penguins have it, so why can’t I? Yes, it can be difficult to maintain this optimism when so many people come [...]

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I had a hundred years and a hundred beers! Gems overheard in my department today: * “I despise my mother, but, because I am a good person, I am buying her flowers.” * “My wife is 68. What kind of flowers do nasty old ladies like?” * Into [...]