Dear Classy Lady, It seems I was not as excited to drop everything and do your shopping for Secretary’s Day as you would have liked. But, seriously, TWELVE secretaries? While we’re at it, how does one *get* to twelve secretaries and not have a Personal Assistant for this stuff? Also, being that the holiday is [...]

Buried under a mountain of work, I mistakenly reached my hand out from the pile of rubble and answered the phone. “Thank you for calling , may I help you?” “Oh, I am trying to call “. “Well, um, you’re not.” silence. “You’re calling the on . “Damn. I don’t wanna call information. Hey, do [...]

Yesterday, at the height of the pre-holiday madness, I had a strange experience. I was helping a lovely woman with an Australian accent and feeling a strange sort of deja vu, when she said to me, “You seem so familiar. Do I know you?” Every time someone says that, I tighten up. Porn? Blog? My [...]

I have come to loathe most every holiday since working in retail. While a good portion of the country is gearing up by buying candy, costumes, fireworks, hideous presents celebrating love or jesus (perhaps love AND jesus?), and food enough to feed entire villages; we in retail are battening down the hatches in preparation for [...]

In the produce section, an angelic looking little girl of maybe four or so with blue eyes and blond curls was kicking and screaming and struggling with her mom. Finally, the mother, who was totally exasperated, yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Her response, “I’m TWYING to wun away fwom you!” Kids are my favorite people. [...]