Pounds Of Flowers Lifted And Cut: 1334 Minutes Worked Without A Break (save for kneeling one time to stress vomit): 536 Times I Quit My Job: 3 Times I Peed My Pants While Talking To A Customer Because I Couldn’t Leave My Department: 1 My life should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque. Pass [...]

So far, this holiday season has included three shoplifters (one with an entire ham who seemed to be feigning pregnancy, made less believable by the fact that he was male), a customer threatening to sue the store because he hit himself in the head with a Christmas tree (which I may or may not have [...]

In the interest of keeping with the theme of this post, along with my general love of spreading holiday cheer, I give you Tomato Jesus. He wasn’t being properly revered at work (though I took the time to introduce him to everyone who walked by), so I bought him and took him home. I love [...]

Holiday cheer is difficult for me to come by, but these links just helped. Santa, NO! OFF DUTY: SANTAS NOT IN SEASON Pass It Along:

Many of you read this post about the trials of Tiger Woods, which deepen daily. However, I noticed that NOT many of you clicked on the link for tigerwoodsisgod.com. This guy doesn’t mean a sports god, he means the actual son of God. He spells out reasons why he thinks that might be true, as [...]