My version of The Lovely Bones. Based on a true story.
My name was The Checkout Girl, because I worked in a grocery store for a living, and I died on January 31, 2010. It was a sad sort of death, the details of which were never revealed because to laugh at the expense of the [...]

Pitch: Fetus School, a sitcom about a class of sassy babies still in utero. Ripe for such gems as:
“Who’s your homewomb teacher?”
and

“If I bring home one more ‘F’, my mom’s gonna miscarry!”
Why am I not superfamous yet? This shit is gold.

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The newest entry in my 100 Bad Dates saga has been posted at RVA News. Read it to experience the magic of a gay date (gate?) and find out what it’s like to play football in the closet.
Bad Date #89

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Boss: “Why are the ‘New Baby’ cards filed under ‘Sympathy’?”
Me: *raises eyebrow*
Boss: “Every time I start a conversation with you, I immediately regret it.”
*pic borrowed from whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com

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Having been inundated with emails from angry Hooters Girls concerned readers, I thought I’d take a few moments to answer the question that’s on nobody’s everybody’s lips: Where the hell have you been?
* Visitin’: My parents flew in from soggy sunny San Diego. It was a delicious stew of angst, embarrassment, pain, nostalgia, and love. [...]