Monday, December 28th, 2009...7:20 pm
Caller, You Say What?
As you may or may not know, the fine folks over at Style Weekly had enough to drink one night to decide that it was a good idea to give me my own advice column in their grown up ladies magazine, Belle. The next morning, when they had sobered up, well, it was too late. I had already yelled, “NO TAKESIE BACKSIES!” That, my friends, is what you call a “verbal contract”.
I get plenty of nice letters from the sophisticated ladies that read the magazine but it’s not like I’m wading in them. Let’s face it, they’ve probably made some pretty good life choices to have ended up sophisticated ladies in the first place and they sure as heck don’t want me meddling in their business. Another good life choice That’s why, wild and wacky internet minions, I am giving you a chance to have your problems made exponentially worse by asking me what I think. After all, how good could YOUR life choices have been that you ended up here? Email your juicy dirt, I mean serious questions, to thecheckoutgirl@gmail.com. It’s all anonymous and legit. Pinky swear.
PS – I fancy myself a less buxom Dolly Parton in Straight Talk, one of the greatest movies ever made. You know, by Dolly. Anyway, as a reward for even reading this post, I tried to gift you the video for the title song to that movie, in which she uses the phrase “mumbo jumbo jive” and mentions both Oprah AND Donahue. If you are too young to know who Phil Donahue is, well, I hate you. Also, you probably don’t get the title of this post. Long story short (too late!), embedding on Straight Talk was disabled *insert thumbs down sign and mouth fart noise here* so I chose another great (and, arguably, my favorite) Dolly tune to get you in the mood to ask some questions.
9 Comments
December 28th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
i miss kenny roger’s roasters….bad.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
great movie and song. dolly rocks. she manages to never age. it amazes me. i will have to come up with some questions to ask you. take care.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Pretty stiff performance but Dolly is twice the performer Kenny is. Love.
Islands in the Stream is going to be my doggie freestyle song with Bear when we win the world championships.
Twitter: homesliceva
December 29th, 2009 at 9:49 am
re: patience’s comment: it’s the wood that makes it good.
in many different ways.
December 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I liked another song in that movie, “Light of a Clear Blue Morning”.
December 29th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
what? you talked up dolly saying ‘mumbo jumbo jive’ and then you link ‘islands?’ i’m so pissed off that i’m going to my local grocery and wasting the flower girl’s time by asking her for those red and yellow flowers that my wife liked that were here last week. too bad it’s probably not going to be your store, but someone has to suffer.
December 30th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Stick a green bean up my urethra.
January 5th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
omg I love Dolly!!!!!
January 25th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Hello. This is kind of an “unconventional” question , but have other visitors asked you how get the menu bar to look like you’ve got it? I also have a blog and am really looking to alter around the theme, however am scared to death to mess with it for fear of the search engines punishing me. I am very new to all of this …so i am just not positive exactly how to try to to it all yet. I’ll just keep working on it one day at a time Thanks for any help you can offer here.
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