A customer sneered at me and spat, “Is English your FIRST language?” in a tone I’m certain she reserved for the help.
As I relayed the story of the encounter to my coworker, a woman of about 55, she sighed, “Did I really stop hooking for this?”
That’s a universal philosophical question: Did we ALL stop [...]

This might turn out to be one of the more astute observations I’ve made. Considering astuteness is sort of what I pride myself on, that’s saying something. For now, back to the beginning…
It all started when one of my Assistant Store Managers (there are two) was transferred to another city. He was my favorite.
“What [...]

…and I feel fine.
The Checkout Girl’s Three Simple Rules Of Supermarket Etiquette, Storm Edition
1. TAKE IT DOWN A THOUSAND. Seriously, if you panicked like a little sucky baby at the first whisper of the “s” word and ran to the store to stock up on expensive meats and cakes, why would you assume that everyone [...]

Boss: “Why are the ‘New Baby’ cards filed under ‘Sympathy’?”
Me: *raises eyebrow*
Boss: “Every time I start a conversation with you, I immediately regret it.”
*pic borrowed from whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com

One of the biggest complaints I have about my job is how physically demanding it is. Playing with flowers is all well and good but processing them involves lifting several hundred pounds, three times a week. After putting them on a cart and hauling them to my department, they must be chopped and put into [...]