customer, upon entering the store: “Every time I come in here, it always smells so good.” coworker to me, under his breath: “Because I just farted.” me, giggling: “Like an angel.” coworker, now also giggling: “Well, I ate potpourri for dinner last night.” me, barely contained and making a little snorting noise: “Yeah, *angel* potpourri.” [...]
FADE-IN INT. CANDY DEPARTMENT. LOCAL MARKET. RICHMOND. DAY. Girl: “Have you had these jellybeans? Which color do you like best?” Me: “I haven’t tried them. Maybe you should ask the Easter Bunny to bring you some of each.” Girl: “I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny, I only believe in Jesus.”
*I love when we have wine tastings at the store. People take their shot glass-sized plastic (thanks god) cup and walk just around the corner, swig it, ditch it, and come back. Hey, Tipsy McGee, you may not have your little cup anymore, but I surely recognize those bad shoes and that lazy eye. Give [...]
