Thursday, November 19th, 2009...12:55 am
I Bust The Windows Out Ya Car
Customer, after explaining bouquet she wants me to make, in great detail: “How long will it take you?”
Me: “Ten to fifteen minutes.”
Customer: “TEN TO FIFTEEN?”
Me, having had it up to here with this lady already: “Yes.”
Customer: “I don’t know if I want it, then.”
Me, laughing at how this might go on for ten to fifteen minutes when I could just be making the fucking bouquet, already: “So you don’t HAVE ten to fifteen minutes?”
Customer: “No. Can you do it faster?”
Me, who is determined to make it take ten to fifteen now, no matter what: “No.”
Customer: “Can you get me a chair?”
Me: “Oh, there’s a bench right over there if you don’t want to stand.”
Customer: “No, I want a chair so I can sit right here. Maybe if you see me waiting, you’ll be faster.”
Me, over store intercom: “Management to the floral department.”
I don’t get paid enough for that shit.
18 Comments
November 19th, 2009 at 6:22 am
I can’t believe the people you have to deal with. That’s just ridiculous. Why must people assume that the employees at stores are stupid and slow?
Rule of thumb: If you automatically assume the girl/guy behind the counter is stupid, you’re stupid.
November 19th, 2009 at 6:57 am
I hope your customers see themselves in your blog and realize how idiotic and rude they are. However, my guess is they have would have no clue you were talking about them even if you posted their picture with the post. Ugh. Jobs in the service industry would be great if it weren’t for people.
November 19th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Why didn’t you just grab your wand and WHOOSH her up a bouquet? Come on, now.
You totally should have shown her where the flowers were she was requesting, showed her where the holders were, showed her where the supplies were and then timed her while she made the bouquet. 40 minutes later when she left, maybe she’d realize she shouldn’t be such an asshat.
November 19th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Ha, I like Amy’s suggestion. Your customers are so out-of-hand. It’s FLOWERS people. Supposed to make life happy and bright, it’s not life or death.
November 19th, 2009 at 9:59 am
By chance was her name Veruca Salt?
November 19th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Oh my god, what is WRONG with people. I can feel your pain. I worked at Subway for four years in high school and college. Oh the stories I could tell. *Shudder*
November 19th, 2009 at 11:00 am
I’d say “Sure, I’ll get you a chair.” Then take ten minutes to go get it. Crazy people.
On another note, is that Chloe from 24 in the picture?
November 19th, 2009 at 11:07 am
32 years I worked in retail and restaurants. It’s amazing that for every asshat, there are 15 really decent folk. I had co-workers who were at least as bad… if not worse …than the worst customer.
It took some time for me to realize that those folks had to live with themselves all of the time. I didn’t. On occasion I got some satisfaction.
Oh, and I never quite got used to it. The best time was when a mystery shopper reported that they would have strangled the customer.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
wow. I’m fairly certain I would have give her two choices…
“Excuse me, mam, would you like to go to the hospital, or the cemetery?”
November 19th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I once had a woman pull a chair up to my reception desk so she could fill something out that had nothing to do with my department or my place of work. Then she asked me if this was my first job. What a Bitch. I don’t know how you do it.
November 19th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
The next time I see you I’m going to pull up a chair, and just sit and stare at you. I’m sure like that customer did… I’ll be able to inspire you to do something.
November 19th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Might have also been fun to watch you throw together something at the speed of light – fingers, flowers, hair flying frantically while she watched you and then handed the whole mess to her.
November 20th, 2009 at 6:29 am
I once was rebuilding a screen porch for a person for free, they complained that I was working too slow… That was 15 years ago, I never finished that porch. Thought I would show them what slow really was …
November 20th, 2009 at 6:48 am
I feel guilty that I get so many fewer weird demanding customers than you. But I have an inkling of where you work, so I really really shouldn’t be surprised.
Of course, in grocery world, it only gets worse and worse until Christmas.
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:29 am
I think you should start importing deadly spiders with those South American flowers and start adding them to the orders of people like that.
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I am dying laughing…I came across your blog from Life, Love and Wine, and I have to say you are very entertaining. Thanks for writing!
November 27th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I woulda cut a bitch with your stem trimmer.
December 1st, 2009 at 1:21 pm
i guess no one cares that Chloe is holding guns and is near naked.
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