Tuesday, May 19th, 2009...11:27 am
Inside TheCheckoutGirl, Chapter 2
When last we left our heroine, she was loaded up with Vicodin and had just been knocked flat by the seedier side of the healthcare system…
The next day, I had an ultrasound of my middle parts. It was fairly uneventful, and unobtrusive, for which I was glad. After all, I was still stinging from the previous night’s trauma. The technician told me that a radiologist would read my test, fax his findings to “my doctor” (the idea of hearing from HER again freaked my beans), and that I should hear back from them by the end of the day. Naturally, no. I waited until the next morning and called the clinic. The nurse I spoke with was exceptionally kind. She said that the test showed no gallstones, and I would need more tests to determine the problem. Sadly, I would have to come back into the clinic to see the doctor to have the tests ordered. I nearly cried. I told her my problem and she wasn’t at all surprised. She gave me a tip on which doc was the nicest (turns out that doctor was just picking up a few shifts but that they had a staff doctor that was, um, normal) and informed me of when he would be working.
The next day, I went back to the clinic and saw the staff doctor. The nurse was right, he was very nice. He ordered a scan of my gallbladder, to be done at a local hospital.
When I arrived, an IV was to be inserted. Unfortunately, I had a terribly nervous older woman who tied off my arm (without using her teeth to pull it tight, which I didn’t know was a thing) looked at it and said, “Oh, dear, I don’t see your veins.” “Shouldn’t you, like, tap it or something?” I asked, helpfully. She tapped and tapped and said something about seeing a vein, but it being extremely tiny. “I’m going to have to use the smallest needle. It’s the one usually reserved for babies,” she said. “Um, sorry,” I said, ashamed of my stupid, immature veins. She got it, but not without much pinching and digging around with babyneedle, and pushed some radioactive fluid into my bloodstream. I then was placed under a giant disk, which she told me was a camera, and she turned on a monitor, close to my head. I was to stay there for an hour and a half, not moving. I laid there, alternating between a comfortable, dozing state, and entertaining myself by making up backstories for the various patients and staff that I saw walk by the open door of the darkened room I was inhabiting. The anxious woman eventually came in and put a second solution into the IV, for another stage of the test. “Something is wrong,” I said, “Oh, god, I’m gonna be sick.” “That happens, sometimes,” she said, which I thought would have been useful information, had I had it a bit earlier. The nausea passed, and the test was completed. Again, I was told that I would be called and informed of the results, but I kind of didn’t care. By this time, the smell of alcohol was starting to permeate my long, flowing tresses and I was getting sick of doctors, hospitals, and the whole lot.
The doctor DID call, just like promised, and told me that my gallbladder wasn’t functioning properly (duh) and I would have to see a surgeon. I did, and he was great. He is, barring complications, going to make one small cut in my belly button and, in the span of about ninety minutes, pull out the little dick of an organ that has caused me so much pain. I am really looking forward to that.
I had my pre-surgery appointment today, where I was hit with the financial ramifications of becoming ill. The whole shebang, from check in to check out, will last about six hours and cost about ten thousand dollars. I’ll wait while you go back and read that again. Ten. Thousand. A heck of a time to find out that the insurance I have paid two hundred dollars a month for, for, like EVER, is not terribly good and I am responsible for my yearly deductible, PLUS a coinsurance amount. All in all, best case scenario, I am looking at three thousand dollars of debt. Suddenly, the Michael Moore and Denzel Washington movies and stories on the evening news are relevant to my life. I hate when real-life situations make me pay attention to current events, unless they somehow relate to the Jon and Kate dramz. Still, given the situation, my choices are limited and I guess this is what it means to be a responsible grown-up. My determination? It’s overrated.
15 Comments
May 19th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Example of insurance crazy-last year TDL had outpatient surgery. The hospital fee was $10K. About $8K was written off due to a contract with insurance carrier. So, it cost him $2K. So, if you don’t have insurance, you pay $10K? How can the same service be priced 2 different ways?
May 19th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I’m so sorry, goodness health is expensive
Remind me never to read comments at US Weekly ever again–it makes me ashamed to be American sometimes.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
oh it’s stories like this that make me thankful to be a Canadian! My husband has a chronic illness and has monthly treatments at $10,000 a pop….thankfully the good taxpayers in Canada pay the bill! we would be living in boxes if we were in the US!
Twitter: homesliceva
May 19th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
not to give you TMI, but my bladder surgery last year? $30K!!!! for a freakin’ half hour surgery! it was insane. i’m so sorry your insurance blows chunks. start charging the annoying customers a $5 surcharge and you’ll have the money in no time.
i’m glad you are getting taken care of, seriously.
May 20th, 2009 at 12:46 am
I love the insurance plans that have a low out-of-pocket maximum. My friend had brain surgery, but once he hit the max, everything else was covered 100%. A $60,000+ surgery cost him $1,500, plus deductible.
The private insurance system may be crazy, and certainly has its flaws, but under socialized medicine you’d probably still be waiting for a doctor’s appointment, much less scans and surgeries.
May 20th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Okay. Now I’m getting anxious. Is Anthem good insurance? Tell me they’re good. D:
May 20th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Um. . . should “good” and “insurance” be used in the same sentence?
May 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Try to negotiate;
Just because they tell it will cost 10K doesn’t mean you have to pay 10K (or 3K – but tell them it’s too much for you & you cannot afford it) – also shop around – see what this same procedure would cost in other hospitals
May 21st, 2009 at 3:16 am
@charbatkin: Not true at all. Most hospitals in countries with socialized health care have shorter waiting lists than American hospitals do. This is because those countries provide care when you need it, and not just when it’s an emergency. There is a reason that the longest living nations in the world all have socialized health care, and why our country doesn’t get close to that list.
May 21st, 2009 at 7:59 am
Sounds like there is some good news – you know whats wrong and have a surgeon you feel good about. Thats a great start!
Have you shopped around? Different hospitals may have different policies and may be easier to work with. And take SoftSpot’s advice – ask what they are willing to do for you.
You have insurance so you will not have to pay the $10K (which is inflated for various reasons), but if the deductible and out of pocket are still several thousand (sounds high to me) then ask to speak with a financial councilor. If you don’t like the answer, what does that say about the hospital? Better yet – drop me a note, glad to help navigate this mess…
May 21st, 2009 at 7:57 pm
This must be what its like for you to read about people shopping in other stores. I am totally radioactive gall bladder scan girl and could have at least played some cartoons for you while you waited! Hubs’ hand surgery cost me (with “good” insurance) over $1500 last year. The different hospitals definitely do have different charge structures ( profit vs not for profit) , a second opinion is never a bad idea. In the end, go with the guy that makes you feel comfortable. Anyone should be able to help you with a payment plan.
May 21st, 2009 at 10:31 pm
You should seriously look into some alternative medicine to improve the gall bladder function. I can recommend a genius with stuff like this. If nothing else use the interwebs for some info – Seems to me I had problems and lemon juice solved it. No residual problems even years later. You will never be the same with out this weird little organ. Try to save it. They brush off side effects of life without it.
May 26th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Almost exactly two years ago I ended up in the ER (twice in less than two weeks) for my gallbladder. I had an ultrasound, a HIDA scan (the IV thing–my poo was radioactive for two days!), and an MRI before the doctors decided it had to come out. Two days after my birthday, out it came.
I think out of $12,000+ I paid about $1,000 for everything. Insurance rocks! Sadly that went away like a year and a half ago. If I get sick now I’ll either have to tough it out or have someone shoot me in the head.
And by the way, you can live without a gallbladder. It’s a lot harder to have a major lardass pigout without one, but I’m totally ok with that.
May 26th, 2009 at 1:08 am
@Sometimes: Tell that to Katie Brickell.
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
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