Friday, November 20th, 2009...12:51 pm
My Sister’s Keeper
Two women came in a few weeks ago and ordered some flowers for next week. One was very loud and confident and extremely specific about what she wanted. I could tell she was used to getting it. The other woman mostly just stood quietly next to her. The few times she spoke up, she was interrupted or shut down. I thought perhaps the more meek of the two was her assistant, the way she was spoken to. They definitely did NOT have a friendship vibe going on between them.
Yesterday, the quieter woman came back in to add to the flower order. I didn’t even recognize her because, honestly, it was the other woman who demanded all of my attention the first time I met them. I assume this is how it probably goes for her.
After she reminded me who she was, I pulled the order slip and added to it. I repeated the name and phone number I had for her, in case I needed to call with any questions.
“Oh, no! That’s my sister. Please don’t bother her with any questions, call me,” she said, quickly.
Her sister?
I took down her information and restated my disclaimer of not being able to guarantee any of the flowers actually arriving. Most of them come from South America and, while I order them, they don’t always make it. Mostly, but not always. I state this very clearly to every customer who places an order.
“My sister will be so upset if these flowers don’t come in,” she said, very nervously.
I tried to lighten things up a little, “Well, she’s lucky to have you for a party planner.”
“I’m not her party planner, I’m her housekeeper.”
We finished our business and she left, with a worried look on her face.
I can’t stop thinking about what kind of fucked-up family dynamics would allow for this. I can’t stop thinking about how anxious she was. I can’t stop thinking about the story of Cinderella and how I hope this woman gets to go to the ball, someday.
11 Comments
November 20th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
That is sad. Sounds like maybe her sister is completely steamrolling her or abusing her.
November 20th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
This is just a particularly sad example of exploitation. I actually believe it’s chiefly an emotional phenomenon – even when it happens between non-family members. If you can convince people that the achievement of self worth is only possible “out there” instead of within themselves, you can make them follow that carrot indefinitely.
It’s why the people who do the work in this world have to scratch by and cower, while bosses and bullies think the sun rises and sets because of their irreplaceable, exacting personalities.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
i could totally see her scrubbing the sister’s floors on her hands and knees while the evil sister flogs her with a paddle. ugh.
November 20th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Holy shit.
Maybe she was being sarcastic? If not, I wonder what sort of situation resulted in one sister being beholden to the other. Ugh.
November 20th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Betty Davis and Joan Crawford
November 20th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Ugh. My heart’s actually hurting for this woman. What an extremely odd situation!
November 20th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
That just worked my stomach into knots.
@Jennifer, man I really hope she was being sarcastic but something tells me she wasn’t! So sad (but then sometimes I get frustrated with people with no spines). Ugh! People!
November 21st, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Did you consider that they might in fact be content with their arrangement? One gets housekeeping services from someone who she trusts, the other gets a job within her comfort zone- her mean boss is her mean sister and I’m sure they love each other.
If she isn’t happy working for her bossy sister, then maybe she should suck it up and get a real job just like anyone else in the big bad world.
November 22nd, 2009 at 3:00 am
I don’t think contentment is the word I would use. While we don’t know all the dynamics of the relationship, but for most of us all we can feel is sadness for what apparently is an abusive situation.
Perhaps acceptance of the situation by the sister is better term.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:23 pm
This IS a really fucked up family. I’m amazed at your restraint from asking her a million nosy and inappropriate questions, starting with “What the hell is wrong with you?” and ending with “Your sister is a total bitch”. That last one’s not a question, but it still needs to be said.
November 24th, 2009 at 7:56 am
The bossy one may be the one off her meds and the passive one may be her minder. Don’t assume the seemingly obvious.
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