Thursday, October 15th, 2009...8:02 pm
In Praise Of No-Talent Ass Clowns
coworker and I walk by just as Pregzilla, who is talking to a manager, says: “…I was so mad.”
coworker, to ‘zilla: “why? did you realize that your fetus is already smarter than you?”
customer, to coworker: “this sign says these apples are organic, but the stickers on the apples don’t.”
coworker: “oh! yeah, this is the wrong sign. right type of apple and right price, though. we actually don’t have these apples in organic.”
customer, confused: “but the sign says they are organic.”
coworker: “yes, but they aren’t.”
customer: “but the sign…”
coworker: “well, you could try eating the sign. maybe IT’S organic.”
that same coworker, who is a 65 year old man, starts every conversation like we are already having it. it is confusing and awesome.
me: “good morning!”
coworker: “oh, and today is his birthday, too.”
me: “who?”
coworker: “my brother.”
a man came from the corporate to train all of the managers on a new computerized inventory system. it was boring and pointless and I felt sorry for the poor, beleaguered guy who had to bear our pained expressions.
trainer: “okay, so, any questions so far?”
coworker: “yeah, I don’t care.”
trainer: “what?”
coworker, looking around and snickering: “I’m just saying that this is dumb and I don’t care.”
trainer, with a heartbreaking sigh: “that’s not a question, but I’m sorry.”
we’re all sorry, man.
7 Comments
October 16th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Being smart and pretty does not guarantee one’s success but being stupid and ugly pretty much assures an individual of failure…
October 16th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
How do we make this place the setting for a sitcom? No, seriously. How? Because it needs to be made. Doesn’t somebody have a cousin in Hollywood or something?
Twitter: homesliceva
October 16th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
i agree with matt – it’s the new and more interesting “office” with flowers and fruit. bring it on. i’m totally watching.
October 16th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
More like M*A*S*H with less blood and without the bombs.
October 17th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
your geriatric coworker needs a twitter account, like, yesterday.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:32 am
He’s the wrong age to be this guy I knew in high school, but they must be soul mates or something. Paul would make a comment in a conversation, except his comment was actually in response to the conversation you were having 5 minutes ago. Or five days ago. Or would not relate to anything at all.
The sad thing was, I always got it.
And sometimes, he would hit the nail on the head in a really snarky way & would just SAY it. Unbelievable. Then he would walk away like he hadn’t said anything at all and people would be all confused, like maybe they didn’t really hear what they thought they just heard, but never angry.
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:04 am
It might’ve been a typo, but when you said “the corporate” that’s immediately how I accepted it. A man came from The Corporate to train you. It made me giggle.
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