It’s Monday, which means a new Off The Clock column over at RVA News. This week, I was so excited about Sandra Bullock’s baby, that I just had to talk about it. That kid looks a lot different in a football uniform, but I guess they can do wonders with CGI, nowadays.
keep it in your pants, bag boy!
Surprise! My special coworker is a chronic masturbator! Well, he’s also awesomely savant-y about days of the week (any date in the history of, well, history, he can tell you what day of the week that it fell on) but, yeah, he enjoys the hand jive at work and it freaks my beans. Not so much that he does it, as I am pro-masturbation, but more because that’s a solo sport and I’m not really down for sitting in his bleachers.
Anyway, his particular, um, hobby is to go into the men’s bathroom and pet his monkey. Two problems: He’s not quiet or at all discreet about it and 2) He doesn’t lock the door. Woe is you if you are a man who has to use the facilities while he is busy because you will get a facefull of flying junk (it flies, right? to be honest, I’m not sure exactly what all happens down there. I suspect wizardry of some sort).
Somebody should talk to the boss about it. Somebody probably will. It won’t be me, though, because I stopped caring right about here.
I was fortunate enough to have been asked by the fantastic Marinka at Motherhood In NYC to join her and some of her super funny friends by writing a guest post for MouthyHousewives.com. Today is the day, people, so go read the magical and super helpful advice I gave to one of their readers.
Ugh, Please Tell Me You Mean “Doggy-Style”
Hey! You guys! Have you checked out my other blog, yet? I write everything there that doesn’t fit here. Some funny, some real, all rad (duh).
I just realized that I never posted last week’s Off The Clock, my RVA News column. Well, surprise, it’s time again and this here’s whatcha call a twofer.
Ladies usually only discuss The List in secrecy, punctuated by giggles. Well, I’ve revealed mine in broad daylight on a legitimate (at least until they hired me) website. Wanna know who I would if I could?
Off The Clock: The Good, The Bad, And The Naughty
Love Kate Gosselin? Hate her? Sick to death of hearing about her? Well, I can’t help that one. In fact, I’m making it worse. My take on the woman with a womb like a Holiday Inn.
Off The Clock: Katetastrophe
