Friday, November 13th, 2009...1:01 am
The Good Girl
A woman came in today, wearing Coach rain boots, a Coach scarf, and carrying a Coach bag (how do I know this? everything was emblazoned with the very-much-about-being-seen “C” logo). She was pleasant enough, asking about flowers and talking about the weather, until she accidentally misstepped and knocked over a small display. Her whole attitude changed when I made move to help her.
“I wouldn’t have knocked that over if you hadn’t put it in such a TERRIBLE place. How is ANYBODY supposed to get around that? NOT very good planning,” she snarled, loudly.
She then tossed the scarf over her shoulder and took leave of our conversation, as I scrambled on the floor to clean up the mess.
A few minutes later a woman came behind the counter to hand me a dozen roses.
“I won’t be home for a couple of hours. I need these in a water packet.”
“Do you mean a bag?”
“No, a water packet.”
“I don’t know what that is, can you describe it to me?”
“Okay, well, it’s a bag…”
Not kidding.
She kept saying “The girl”. As in “The girl always does the water packet for me” and “The girl always gives me extra flower food” and “The girl always ties a bow around them”.
A little too loudly, I finally interrupted, “MA’AM!”
“What?”
“I AM THE GIRL.”
I put the flowers in a bag and added a some water. She watched me perform the whole operation, including turning the faucet first on then off. And, the bag is clear. It looks like you won the flowers like a goldfish at the County Fair. There should have been no more questions. But there were. She held the bag up to her face and said, “So, did you put water in here?”
I was really bummed out from dealing with the rude and the obtuse. I took a ten minute break, wherein I consumed two cups of coffee and caught up on twitter. It was a mean day there, too. People were taking little jabs at and mocking each other. It felt very high school. I shut it down and texted my friend with just this, “I wonder if being nice will ever be cool.”
She was right on board with this (her name IS Kindness Girl so duh) and we had a good text dialogue going about how revolutionary it would be if being kind were hip. I wondered if it even mattered since so many people were determined to treat others as less than.
A customer came in and interrupted the conversation, slightly annoying me. She said she was going to a funeral and needed some flowers. I am just about the worst at flower arranging, being better with the business end of selling flowers than the artistic one, and hate doing it. I cut some roses to fit the vase she had brought with her and was fussing with them when she asked me if I remembered her. Once she reminded me, I did. Too well.
She had come in the store just about a year ago, looking a total mess. She told me that her mom was dying. That day. She had been battling cancer and they were going to terminate life support and let her go. She had started to cry when telling me, but then began to sob. I made out that she wanted some flowers in the room for those who came to be with her and they had to be yellow in case there was any chance she might open her eyes and see them before she went. Yellow was her favorite color.
I died. I didn’t know this woman, and it certainly would not be looked upon favorably by my supervisors, but I put my arms around her and let her cry. She only needed a minute or two, then she composed herself, bought her flowers, and went on her way.
Here she was again, telling me that my sympathy that day had made a difference. She said that her mom had passed and she had returned to Roanoke. She said that she thought about me sometimes and had shared with a few people how nice I was. Now she was back in town. With more sadness.
“I knew I had to come see you.”
Jewel said, “In the end, only kindness matters.” She might be a little bit of a snaggletooth and I don’t know that it’s the only thing that matters, but it does matter. People notice if you are nice, and it’s cool.
28 Comments
November 13th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Knowing you are appreciated by someone is a pretty powerful thing. Good post.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Thanks for this post. I totally agree with your post. The most beautiful people are those that are the kindest inside. It’s hard to remember because we only see each other from the outside. We have to remember that we each have hurts but also special gifts to share. Thanks for the reminder. I hope my son grows up to be a kind sweet person!
November 13th, 2009 at 10:47 am
it amazes me how kind you can be to others even when they are pooping on you. i know personally you’ve been there for me more times than i can count – and kindness really does go a long way.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I’ve always said the world needs The kindness of strangers.. I strive to be the kind stranger. It sounds wierd but it’s very true.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:19 am
That one little gesture can mean so much…
November 13th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
What’s cool is that she came back to tell you that your small kindness had helped.
You are a good soul, thecheckoutgirl. You betcha.
November 13th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I wanted to give you a virtual pat on the back for your sad post yesterday, so this will have to do.
Kindness has always been ‘uncool’ in this society for reasons that are totally beyond me. But it’s also catching, and communicable like that cheesy insurance ad.
Great read.
November 13th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
That was a next level post.
November 13th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Great post. Kindness rocks.
November 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Wow, sweetness, that. was. awesome.
Total shit day over here in funeral land, and you turned it right around.
Thanks!
November 13th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Aww I know how you feel.
Sometimes you remember the ones who needed help and sometimes you don’t but being kind made their day.
November 13th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I’m a complete sarcastic bitch – but you know what? At the end of the day, I try and live by killing ‘em with kindness.
I may be completely insane, but I wish we could spend more time being kind to people and affirming them rather than the usual shit.
Glad it’s not just me. You are nothing short of ‘teh awesome.’
Also? Your story about the women and the flowers made me teary. Kindness does rule!
November 13th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Best. Post. Ever.
power to the (good) people!
November 14th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I’m glad to see so many comments on this post. That story definitely made my heart pang. On a day with so many awful customers (obtuse is a good way to describe them), it’s so nice to have a touching experience where you made someone’s day a little better.
November 14th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Thank you for posting this. It shows that kindness and “paying it forward” does make a difference… if only more people would participate.
November 14th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
“And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
November 14th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
It’s the little things, man. That she came back to you proves how much your gesture meant to her *sob*
Now if only you could’ve snatched a knot in the Coachoholic’s ass…
November 15th, 2009 at 9:10 am
“Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle of some sort.” I think about that often and will always remember some small acts of kindness strangers did for me when I was suffering with a very sick child.
November 15th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Lovely.
November 16th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
[...] Checkout Girl wrote a lovely post about being nice, and the comments are worth a read as [...]
November 17th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
You made me all teary! Lovely story.
November 18th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
I was reading june’s entries and keep thinking I had read that before, and then it hit me that I just read your whole blog (except for the dating entries, sorry about that): first backwards from today but then my neuroses kicked in and I started from the beginning. Your writing is funny as hell (ann you betcha hell is fun)
November 19th, 2009 at 1:04 am
Ana – thanks about a million and welcome to my blog!
November 19th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Ah, the kindness of strangers. Great story!
BTW, your blog ROCKS! Even my dog loves it
November 19th, 2009 at 10:39 am
This post made my day. Kindness IS cool! Glad you could be there for her, again. (And I’ve sort of come to love Jewel’s snaggletooth. Do you watch Medium? Patricia Arquette has some snaggletooth action going on, too. Love it.)
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:42 am
I love that you and @KindnessGirl want kindness to be cool. I want that too – the fact that dissing people makes you cool totally gets me down. Lately it’s been weirding me out the way people comment so cruelly on celebrities’ appearances. So the Jewel snaggletooth comment seems out of place in this post. But I love the sentiment and the story.
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
This gave me goosebumps, and its so very true. I love the backhanded compliment you gave Jewel
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I cannot imagine, in a million years, being so rude to someone–let alone for something that was my fault! But its like the universe sent you that other woman to prove that the little kindnesses matter.
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