Sunday, March 15th, 2009...10:07 am
Those Aren’t Flowers In The Attic
One of my assistant managers has the worst of all personality traits; he thinks he is funny, but he’s not. One coworker even quit (but was talked into coming back) when he was making faces at her and laughing, while another manager was writing her up for a small offense. I know five-year-olds who behave better.
The other day, I was totally overworked and at the impossibly tiny end of my rapidly fraying rope, when he came over and asked what was wrong. As I explained to him that I had more work than two people with two days could handle and I only had one me and one day, he started doing this crying pantomime and even went so far as pretending to play an invisible violin. I had to walk away from my own department to keep myself from punching him right in the Marcel Marceau, by which I mean man-ovaries.
Today, a customer insisted that he meet my manager to tell him what a great job I am doing. Unfortunately, Nozo the Clown was the manager on duty. I sighed, knowing it would be a disaster, and found him walking in the opposite direction from where the customer was standing. “Nozo, wait,” I said, of course using his real name (which is also clownlike), “I have a customer who wants to talk to you. I know you are busy, but he insists on telling you how great I am. Heh.” I shrugged, embarrassed by the fuss. He stopped (I was sort of chasing him, not wanting him to get away), rolled his eyes at me, and said, “Well, we wouldn’t want to miss out on *that*, now, would we?” and made a face like he was gagging. He then kept walking in his original direction. I apologized to the customer, assuring him that I was happy to help him and would pass along the message that he was pleased with the service he received. I was mortified by Nozo’s behavior and wanted to hang him by his big, red nose. Get thee back to the circus, jerk!
I talked to the store manager and expressed my misgivings about this guy, and my concern that he was affecting moral. He said, and I quote, “I know, isn’t he weird? Did I tell you I think he pooped in the attic?” Not. Kidding.
11 Comments
Twitter: homesliceva
March 15th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Oh. My. God.
That is all.
Ps. I think I might lose it with that guy.
March 15th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Dammit. It’s always the poop jokes/anecdotes that make me laugh. :/
March 15th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
In my head, Nozo looks like Rainn Wilson.
I don’t believe I could stop myself from kicking him in the shins every once in a while.
March 16th, 2009 at 7:36 am
I know of supervisors who claim that passive-aggressive behaviour is their primary management tool.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
your use of a superfluous “u” in “behavior” (super classy!) reminds me that he also LOVES to pull out his hideous faux british accent very early in the a.m. I walked in at six this morning and he yelled across the store, “‘ELLO GOV’NER!” someone almost got his bug eyes poked right out.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
me, too! have I mentioned that I am a 6th grade boy? yeah.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Does your store have the token garrulous feeb who herds carts in the lot and wants to talk sports or politics at a lowest common denominator level to anyone? Some act as if they have plates in their heads.
March 17th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Your store is seriously dysfunctional. Way to hang in there.
April 27th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
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