Thursday, May 27th, 2010...8:05 pm
We Just Got A Letter, We Just Got A Letter, We Just Got A Letter, I Wonder Who It’s From
Dear Coworker:
I’m sorry that I forgot to lock the bathroom door and you were forced to behold me in all my pooping glory. I’m doublesorry that you are a lesbian and my chubbymuffin will haunt you forever. In my defense, I had sushi for lunch.
Sheepishly,
TCG
Dear Customers:
There is nothing that chafes my nips more than when you say “you/your”, when you actually mean “the store I am standing in”.
Examples:
“Your prices are so high.”
“The store across the street is way cheaper than you.”
“You need more people at the meat counter.”
“Your cashiers are so slow.”
I can assure you that we are not on an episode of “Undercover Boss” and I am not secretly one of the owners of this company. My prices aren’t high, no one is cheaper than me *ahem*, I don’t even HAVE people at the meat counter, and I sure as hell don’t own any cashiers. In fact, I don’t even rent them.
I’ll be happy to hear you out, but I just want you to know that the store and I are totally independent of each other. You know, aside from the time I spend doing that thing I do after lunch (see letter above).
Autonomously,
TCG
10 Comments
Twitter: MarinkaNYC
May 28th, 2010 at 4:34 am
I was GOING to say “you are so funny” but now I know better.
The store I’m standing in is so funny.
Marinka´s last blog ..Friendship Probation
Twitter: pattypunker
May 28th, 2010 at 8:59 am
“chubbymuffin” – bwahahaha!
i also say “why don’t they . . . ” not that i complain. much. only when pms-ing. never at the flower counter.
pattypunker´s last blog ..10 important factoids about me
May 28th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I used to work as a bank teller and I can tell you that complaining customers never got as much as nice customers did. Some rules can be bent (like waving the fee for a money order) but they will only be bent for pleasant, kind customers (who don’t say ‘but they only cost a dollar at the post office!’…um, then go to the post office). My standard answers for these questions are as follows.
“Your prices are so high.”
I don’t set the prices because I don’t own the store.
“The store across the street is way cheaper than you.”
Then feel free to shop there.
“You need more people at the meat counter.”
and
“Your cashiers are so slow.”
Please tell a manager who may or may not have some power to change things.
Twitter: knitzwithcatz
May 30th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
i’m a bill collector, on the phone. i hate hearing “you people”, as in “you people keep calling me at 6 am”, or “you people never listen to me”.
karen´s last blog ..just a few things i don’t get the appeal of
Twitter: scarls17
May 31st, 2010 at 9:23 am
I get that a lot at my job, too. It makes me murderous.
June 30th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
You crack my shit up. And perhaps the store, too.
Cassie´s last blog ..Pregnancy blues
July 11th, 2010 at 11:52 am
Have just spent several hours reading your blog, I work in a supermarket in a fairly small, rural market town in the UK that considers itself quite upmarket. I would like to be able to tell you that things are different here but sadly they’re not. In fact about the only thing different is we don’t have the creepy guy listening to us pee… but probably only because there’s no room for a chair outside our cloakroom.
Twitter: CashierTalk
July 20th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
I love this! I’m so glad you found me so that I could find you.
The you/your shit is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Cashier´s last blog ..Are All Short Men Cocky
July 28th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
That’s burns my ass, too. Not the pooping, well sometimes after buffalo chicken or Chipolte, but no, the “you/your” thing. I’m in insurance and I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that they are sick of me raising my rates. People! They’re not MY rates!! I pay insurance, too! My bills are going up, too, and I assure you… I’m not raising them!!
Hamlet’s Mistress´s last blog ..I Have Things To Say
January 12th, 2012 at 3:51 pm
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