Monday, February 23rd, 2009...8:28 am
Willie Wonka And The Bad Baby
It’s about darn time I tackled the subject of bad babies. I mean, I work with the public for a living, for chrissakes. First, let’s be clear: when I say “babies”, I mean someone who is still being parented, be they 2 or 12 or 22 (gross). If their parents are still paying their way, they are babies and there ain’t no two ways about it.
Now, for the first time ever, and with a minimal amount of shame, I share my secret…I LOVE bad babies (betcha didn’t see that one coming). Love ‘em. Why? Because there is a bad baby inside of me and I totally relate. If a kid is in the store, screaming his fool head off for candy, I secretly, subliminally, egg him on. “YES!” my mind cheers, “SCREAM UNTIL YOU GET THAT CANDY!” Does the child’s screaming bother me? Not one bit. In fact, from time to time I will stroll by a precious angel who is having a complete meltdown and say something like, “Go get ‘em, tiger!” If the parent is patient enough to wait out the fit and the child doesn’t get what he wants, I am disappointed. Disproportionately so. Almost as if *I* didn’t get the candy.
Let’s face it, people, the middle of a crowded market is not the best place for you to teach your overindulged child a lesson, anyway. Unless it is his first time out of the house, lessons in proper behavior (what I call “home trainin’”) should have started some time ago and NOT in the candy section that rivals Willie Wonka’s factory. If you haven’t had the “we are just here to get groceries and not treats” talk a hundred times by now, stood by it (the key, really), and made it stick, that’s your mistake. Don’t punish other shoppers and your confused, overstimulated child by deciding you are going to start taking a stand right then and there. Give the baby the candy, make everyone happy, and have a chat when you get home. Besides, when he gets a lollipop bigger ‘n his head, I feel like *I* get a lollipop bigger ‘n *my* head, and that makes me a very happy checkout girl.
11 Comments
Twitter: suzinrva
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:22 am
With 3 hell spawn of my own, we have the 1 treat per visit deal usually in the $1-2 range. It’s the only way we can get to the market. Plus it gives my boys room to play ninja down the aisles.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Suz – we do the same thing with our 4 year old – he knows if he bahaves he will get a small treat. 99.9% i have a well behaved 4 year old…….so i end up getting him a treat and surprise surprise – he does not always want candy…..
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I don’t understand bribing kids to behave – that’s their job. That’s like paying an employee a bonus (i.e., a treat) for doing what’s expected of them (i.e., behaving in public). If the kids can’t handle the retail experience, leave ‘em at home! How could this situation possibly improve as they get older?
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:30 pm
erin – when they get older they become CEO’s at airline & car companies
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Little kids and full blown teenagers know that you’ve got to fight for your right to party. Everyone else tends to forget this basic rule of life.
(Note: “anonymous” is linking to filthyrichmond.com, but they are in no way affiliated with my site. Any comments from me will be posted in my name.)
-Joss
February 24th, 2009 at 8:01 am
Not for nothing, but I agree, that you set limits and stay by them (i.e. this trip is for groceries not candy), but to stand by them, you need to get through those first couple of fits. Can’t leave your kids at home every time, life just isn’t that nice, but trust me EVERY mother of a screaming child while annoyed people look on… yep we sure wish it were. However, life, real life, requires us to venture out with kids in tow… at least if we want to eat, pay bills…. Uh.. Errr.. .LIVE???
February 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am
It’s surprising how kids know when to act up. My dad was a manager of a grocery store and I simply was an angel when I was young
– I would be on my best behavior knowing that I’ll have a grocery cart ride when he is not busy – no bribes with candy even if I was surrounded by them. Of course , I knew if I misbehaved I’ll be seeing his belt later. 
February 24th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I think screaming kids are pretty funny…probably because they’re not mine.
February 25th, 2009 at 8:30 am
My kids are grown and gone. However, the piercing scream of a Little Boudreaux or a Little Estelline heard at random whilst shopping will certainly give me the heebiejeebies. It’s plumb skeery.
January 24th, 2010 at 8:42 am
Hi, what a wonderful site you have. I found it on Google while looking for some baby gear. Thanks and God bless.
March 26th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
I normally roam all over the ‘net because I have the tendancy to read a lot (which isn’t always a good thing because the majority of sites just copy from each other) but I have to say that yours contains some great substance! Thanks for stopping the trend of just being another copycat site!
Leave a Reply